Shoppie Shiplife

If you ever feel the need to get away and travel my god do at least one contract on a cruise ship! It’s absolutely unreal, I promise you this.

Shiplife is a term you will hear and say on board an unholy amount of times. And what does it mean? It mean anything goes because this isn’t your real life. It’s like a stop gap, a pause, a chance to literally care about nothing for a while.

I went on ships to vanish into this world, or at least take a step towards that goal. I didn’t think it would be such a literal thing. Not only did I vanish but I found a new world. Working on cruise ships is like being a 13 year old at school. It’s fucking mental. Small issues that would mean nothing on the real planet that we live on, but on ships it means everything. And on the flip side you can get absolutely smashed, make a complete tit of yourself and it means nothing, no one cares. Remember “the fear”? Well say goodbye to that my friends, it doesn’t exist on a cruise ship.

So some tips for you, the cabins are small but by the end of your contract you’ll wonder why your room at home was so fucking huge. The food is hit and miss but I mean who cares? It’s free and your hungover so you’ll eat anything. The parties are incredible. By the way I mean incredible, my top five nights out ever all came within a six month contract on one ship. The work is awful actually, I forget that work is a thing there as it’s the least important thing about working on a ship. No one cares about it and neither will you.

Of course there are ports, as a shoppie you can enjoy every single one of them, don’t be a mug and work in a department that keeps you onboard during a port day, it’ll be enough to send you overboard. Why else would you be on a ship if not to get off the thing as soon as you can? Every port has something, just go and find it.

I shit you not. None of this is even close to exaggeration! If you are stuck for something to do work on a ship, they’ll take anyone too so nothing stopping you!

Find a way to enjoy life, don’t be a dick head! If you can’t find a way find a bloody ship, enjoyment will be forced on you in the shape of a crew party and a safety drill the morning after while you are too smashed to even see.

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